Countering Dracula’s Wrath; How to Hide a Hickey

Posted on June 28, 2012


I never understood the reasoning behind playing Dracula and leaving someone with a mark in their neck- like a stamp saying someone’s been here.  Or better yet a signature along the lines of how dogs pee and mark their territory.  Yes, I am talking about the good ‘ol … dun dun dun… HICKEY!  I know what you’re thinking, wasn’t that back in the days when we were 14?  Well, it became a topic of conversation between my best friend Leoansy and I (with supporting cast of my sister Ere), and we created a list that sums up how to hide a hickey if in fact you are even in this egregious predicament.

How to deal with Dracula’s wrath:

  1. Press a frozen spoon on marked area, and with pressure, rub it out (it worked when I was 14!)
  2. Use the open end of a lipstick cap- twist the open side and distribute the blood vessels (never tried, but makes sense)
  3. Concealer that matches your skin tone (definitely easy)
  4. Purposely style your hair in a way that hides the mark (50/50… works only with hair long enough)
  5. Wear a stratigically placed scarf (it’s fashionable!)
  6. Create a freak-accident story: fell on the corner of your coffee table and almost DIED!  (use your creativity)
  7. Wear a choker necklace (not fashionable anymore, but it can work)
  8. Get a temporary tattoo (because that’s more acceptable than a hickey)
  9. Purposely burn yourself while curling your hair to cover up the redness (burn/bite… what’s the difference!?)
  10. Call it a birthmark (it just showed up overnight)
  11. Say you just scratched yourself (you got itchy!)
  12. Use a bandaid
  13. Call it a mosquito bite (it’s a jungle out there)
  14. Wear a Turtleneck (as long as it’s not 90 degrees, you won’t look obvious)
  15. But the best one of all… And full proof… Don’t get one!!! (Nothing says I’m low class than a hickey on your neck. Whomp whomp!)

Okay, perhaps some of the ideas are borderline absurd.  I hope you get the notion the most effective form of protecting yourself from this type of marking is by not getting one.  Sometimes it’s not your choice, but in honest truth I thought it was common sense not to leave marks!  (At least not in visible areas!)  This leaves me to believe, if your partner is leaving marks >> no common sense >> reevaluate future encounters.

I’ll sign out with my favorite line- “Food for Thought”


This has been a service announcement sponsored by  the campaign for Classy not Trashy.