Dater: The Person you are Dating

Posted on January 15, 2012


Boyfriend.  Husband.  Friend.  So what is the term for the person you are dating??  I was once in a situation looking for a word to reference the person I was dating, and all I could come up with was a Lover.  Try introducing the person you are dating as a Lover to you father, and that’s probably the last date you’ll have.  So I suggest, NOT introducing your friend as a Lover.

This posed a problem for me.

One night after having been influenced by a couple of glasses of grape juice, a person asked me, “who’s that friend you’re with?”  He wasn’t my friend… but he wasn’t my boyfriend.  We were dating.  I could have said, “this is the person I am dating.”  He’s a person, yes, but he’s my friend too… so would, “this is my friend I am dating”  work?  Yeah, that would work, but that didn’t solve my want for just a one-word-says-it-all need.   So it popped into my mind that instead of saying “Oh! He’s the friend I am dating” I said, “He’s my Dater.”  It made complete sense!  The person who is your boyfriend is simply your boyfriend. The person you are married to is your husband or wife.  The person you are dating is your dater.  I solved a practical problem… and I’ve never looked back.

I use to tell people all the time, “he’s my dater… you know, the person you’re dating.”  When there’s nothing official and you’re definitely passed friends, he’s your Dater.  So I’m sharing this experience because you should know, using a phrase like Dater… is okay.  It might show up as a non-word on your spell check, but don’t you worry, it makes sense 😉

There’s no need to rush into the boyfriend/girlfriend zone.  I think people should date and let the relationship flow into commitment.  But bottom line, calling that person you are dating a “friend”  isn’t really just, and doesn’t tell the story.  The term Dater can easily solve the problem.  It made introductions much easier, and I’m all for it!